


Take Good Care Of My Team

by TrioMaxwell



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Mikoshiba Seijuurou-centric, Mikoshiba in second year, OC death, OC is Mikoshiba's Captain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-07 15:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1904949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrioMaxwell/pseuds/TrioMaxwell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Mikoshiba's second year. </p><p>Because there were posts on Tumblr saying how Rin was following some of Mikoshiba's Captain habits (i.e. walking at the rear of the group back to the bus).<br/>That made me think about Mikoshiba and his own Captain.<br/>I also thought when Mikoshiba said "I want to entrust this team to you" to Rin, his smile seemed ... forced? sad? </p><p>Yes, I wrote a 4K+ word fic for Mikoshiba because his smile seemed sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Parallels

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThunderDownOnGreenside](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderDownOnGreenside/gifts).



> I need a "Mikoshiba Seijuurou" support group badly.

At the Samezuka swimming pool, the third year student sending off ceremony…

 

After the traditional showdown between the Captain and the entire Samezuka Swimming Club and the Iwatobi-Samezuka freestyle relay, the third year students stood facing the first and second year students, listening to their Captain speak.

 

“... We third years can retire without regrets. And Matsuoka!” Rin started, even though he knew what was coming. He stepped forward, scarcely believing _this_ was happening. He squared his shoulders and stood as straight as he could as Mikoshiba announced, heard clearly by everyone in the natatorium. "Starting tomorrow, you are the Captain."

 

Rin inhaled sharply. It had been one thing to be told the news quietly, away from the others, and another thing totally to have his new status announced like this in front of both clubs. And everyone accepted it, which spoke volumes about how absolute Mikoshiba's decision had been to all members of the club. He felt the heavy cloak of responsibility and leadership settle invisibly around his shoulders.

 

 _Would he be able lead as ably as Mikoshiba had done? Motivate the others by example? Make the right decisions?_ He looked into Mikoshiba's serious face, the solemn gold eyes. _Why do you trust me? Can I do this?_

 

Mikoshiba must have felt Rin's uneasiness because his expression changed (like the quicksilver that was characteristic of whatever he did) to one of cheerful reassurance. "Take good care of my team."

 

Rin hesitated. "Yes," he promised softly. He could do that. And everyone clapped their hands.

 

And just like that, it was done.

 

\------------

 

The natatorium was dark and deserted when Mikoshiba Seijuurou entered the building nine hours later, pocketing the copy of the key used to open the front door. He walked along the side of the pool, inhaling the chlorine scented air and hearing the small sloshing noises the water made as it spilled over the sides of the pool. He completed one circuit around the pool and sat on starting block number four, the one he had always dived off from, and took a long searching look around the natatorium.

 

All was silent here, but when he closed his eyes, he could hear the cheers and shouts, the frenzied battles in the water, the whistles signalling the start of the laps.

 

It seemed like these sounds had always been a part of his life.

 

It was hard to believe he would be leaving this place soon, the school where he had spent the last three years swimming, studying, learning and living, to swim elsewhere. He thought back to the traditional handing over ceremony, to the hundred times of hundred-metre free the Captain had to swim against all his members or until he lost, whichever came first. He had beat his Captain last year and had maintained his winning streak this year; quite frankly, as Captain, he had yet to lose in the water so far. His race record was flawless and Samezuka had trounced all the other competing schools at the Nationals. He had handed over the club to someone he trusted to  continue carrying the school onto glory, he truly could retire as Captain without regrets.

 

That was what he told himself anyway, a lie repeated so often that he had come to believe it most of the time.

 

He looked up at the ceiling, eyes tracing over the random patterns of light cast up by the pool, then cast his eyes on starting block number five.

 

Nobody sat there, which was to be expected, really, but reality still twisted at his heart.

 

\--------

 

Tachibana had once expressed admiration at his leadership ability as a fellow Captain, his dedication to the Samezuka swimming team and sport. Seijuurou had stumbled with his words uncharacteristically for a moment, unable to respond.

 

Finally, he managed to say cheerfully, with a bit of mock fear in his voice. "If I didn't take good care of the team, I'd find it hard to answer to my captain when I next see him!"

 

Tachibana had laughed. "I see! So you still keep in touch with your ex-Captain, huh?"

 

Seijuurou had laughed with him. "Yeah, something like that."

 

\--------

 

Somewhere on the Samezuka campus, two years ago...

 

Second-year student Mikoshiba Seijuurou headed straight for the pool building as soon as classes were over. He glanced through the glass windows of the natatorium and grinned when he spotted the blond hair of the Samezuka Captain talking to his fellow third years at the side of the pool. _'Yes! He's here!'_ He slipped into the locker room to change and ran out onto the pool deck, goggles bouncing around his neck.

 

"Kurosawa-buchou, pleaseracewithme!" He blurted out excitedly, skidding to a stop in front of the third year crowd.

 

"Ah?" Kurosawa turned around and saw him. "Oh, it's the puppy." He patted Sei on the head, making use of his height advantage, being a lofty 1.95m tall. "Repeat what you just said, but a lot more slowly, please."

 

Seijuurou rolled his eyes at the Captain's teasing tone. “I said~, please, race with me!”

 

"Again?" His Captain hadn't looked that taken aback by the challenge, but his grey eyes had narrowed warningly. “I won’t go easy on you, you know.”

 

“Of course! It'd be no fun if you did!” Seijuurou bounced on his toes in his eagerness to compete with his captain _(being the best swimmer he knew and the person he'd developed a huge crush on since the summer of his first year)_. “Race me seriously! Please!” He bowed deeply from the waist.

 

“The second years this year sure are lively,” Kurosawa complained to the others, but he was grinning as he doffed his jacket. “Fine, since you want to race that badly, I'll give you a race.”

 

“Yes!” Seijuurou pumped his fist down at his success and the laughter of the other third years followed them as they made their way to the starting blocks.

 

"Hey, buchou?” Seijuurou forced himself to speak as casually as he could while they were stretching. “Shall we have a bet?"

 

"What kind of bet?" Kurosawa asked absently, pulling on his swim cap.

 

 _It's now or never!_ Sei thought. "Um, like if I win, you'll go on a date with me."

 

"Huh?" Kurosawa turned to look at him in surprise and Sei froze under his direct gaze like a startled deer.

 

 _Shit, was that too forward?_ "Or a kiss would be fine too," he blurted, then snapped his mouth shut.   _Like that was any better, dumbass!_ They stared at each other in silence. Sei tried grinning to hide his nervousness, then uncharacteristically lost his nerve and turned to look up at the ceiling instead. The silence stretched uncomfortably. "Or you can forget I said anything," he said, standing up quickly, ears burning. He could go drown himself in the pool now.

 

He had taken two steps towards the water when he heard Kurosawa call out. "Oi, Mikoshiba!" Seijuurou turned to look at his Captain, who was smiling, a faint blush on his fair skin. "It's fine. Let 's have that bet."  

 

Seijuurou's heart soared. "Yes! Thank you!"

 

Despite the added incentive, he had still lost the race; his captain was just too darn fast. He didn't have time to be sad however, because Kurosawa had pulled him close with a tug on the goggles around his neck. He had pecked Sei on the forehead and whispered, "You should practise harder to win that date next time."

 

Sei had blushed red to the roots of his hair. "Yes, I will!"

 

\-------

 

In the Samezuka locker room one month later...

 

Seijuurou was getting ready for training with the first and second years, when suddenly one of the second years, Ogiwara, spoke up. "Hey, Mikoshiba. Are you going to challenge buchou again today?"

 

“Yup. Why?” Sei asked, glancing at him as he grabbed his cap and goggles from the bag.

 

"Just wondering why you don't get discouraged from challenging him is all," Ogiwara replied, voice muffled as he pulled his shirt over his head.

 

"Yeah, just as we think you’re going to catch up with him, his time gets faster too," Tabuchi chipped in.

 

"Yeah! That's cool, isn't it? He really is someone to beat," Seijuurou smiled. "It's frustrating, yeah, but it also makes beating him so much more meaningful, you know?"

 

"Senpai, do you really think you'll ever catch up to him?" Otsuda, a first year, asked curiously.

 

Seijuurou nodded. "Definitely! It might not be today, or tomorrow, but if I train hard enough, I'll catch up to him for sure!" He pointed his finger at his doubting team mates and winked. "Believe it!"

 

"Pft… Buwahahaha!" His friends all burst out laughing. "What the hell was that? What are you, Naruto!? Next, you'll say you're going to be Hokage, right?!" Sei joined in the laughter as they continued ribbing him in good humour.

 

As they left the locker room, they also backslapped him and told him, "Go for it, we’ll train hard too. We'll be cheering for you."

 

\---------

 

Seijuurou was hard pressed to remember his earlier positivity when the Captain beat him again though.

 

I must be faster still! He needed to improve his times, but he had sort of hit a plateau, time-wise.

 

How, how, how?

 

\--------

In the Samezuka library...

 

Seijuurou was walking among the bookshelves looking out for a reference book when he overheard some of his seniors talking at a table nearby.

 

"Hey, Kurosawa. Why do you keep puppy boy hanging around you during training? Doesn't it get bothersome to entertain his challenges all the time? He's not going to beat you."

 

"Ha~? You mean Mikoshiba-kun?"

 

"Yeah, the loud, overly-energetic one."

 

Sei stopped short, his ears burning at the senior's evaluation of him. He knew he was loud, energetic and very tall, a combination that could be overwhelming to many people. A six month old puppy in a six foot two human body, his mother had described him affectionately, more than once. He'd been mistaken for a delinquent simply from the way he spoke or greeted people when he was really just being his normal kind of friendly. Kurosawa-buchou had never made him feel unwelcome, but was it possible he was just being tolerated all this while?

 

"It's fine, I don't mind. Have you seen the improvement in his times?" There was a sound of riffling paper. "Here, look at them." A few voices murmured in surprise as Kurosawa continued, "With him around, I feel like I can't be lazy, you know? His focus and dedication are at crazy high levels. I've actually been feeling pressured by him lately."

 

The first speaker laughed disbelievingly.

 

"No, really!" Kurosawa continued defending him. "He's a good kid. He practises hard, he doesn’t brag. His form is great. He sets a good example for the first and second years. His stroke count is as fast as mine! If he strengthens the power in his stroke, he'd beat me easily, I think."

 

Sei felt the burning in his ears spread to his face. It was a wonder the books on the shelves around him didn't burst into flames.

 

"Don't you think he could shape up to be the fastest swimmer in the club? Faster than me, even. In contrast though, Shinoda," and Kurosawa's voice suddenly had a stern bite of warning to it, "your times have been slipping lately. If you're not careful, you're going to lose your spot to one of the second years."

 

There was an awkward silence before someone cleared their throat, and changed the subject to training menus for the first years.

 

Seijuurou snagged his reference book from the shelf and hurried away with two thoughts in his head.

 

One, he had no idea that the Kurosawa-buchou that he admired so much thought so well of him! He fairly floated out of the library.

 

Secondly, how did one go about increasing the power in their swimming stroke?

 

\-------

In the Samezuka locker room one month later...

 

Sei closed the door to his locker and was running a finger under the elastic leg band of his Speedo to make sure it sat on his butt properly, when Ogiwara suddenly spoke up. "Hey, Mikoshiba. You've really been putting on some muscle lately, haven't you?"

 

Seijuurou looked down at himself. “Maybe? I mean I’ve been trying to bulk up a bit, and I've been visiting the gym more often. I’ve been doing the exercises recommended by ‘Monthly Muscle’ magazine. Is it working?”

 

Ogiwara and some of the other second years nodded madly as they looked at him from head to toe (some blushed, for some reason). “Oh yeah, it’s working alright. Keep up the good work.”

 

\---------

 

It had taken two months for both of them to go from ‘Mikoshiba-kun’ and ‘Kurosawa-buchou’ to ‘Seijuurou’ and ‘Takeru’, then to ‘Sei-kun’ and ‘Take-chan’ when they were alone.

 

It had taken five months and twenty days for Seijuurou to be fast enough to win that bet for the first date.

 

It was also a proud moment for Samezuka SC when their two fastest swimmers bagged both Gold and Silver during the finals of the hundred metre front crawl event in the Nationals.

 

(The date was fairly normal one; a movie, fast food and billiards, but to Seijuurou, it was wonderful.)

 

\-------

In Room 201, Kurosawa’s room…

 

Kurosawa spread three letters in front of him on the bed and contemplated them seriously. Seijuurou draped himself over his captain's shoulders from behind and looked at the letters too. “What are these about?” He asked curiously.

 

“Oh. University application letters. Kyoto, Tokyo and Osaka,” he flicked the letters each in turn as he named them.

 

 _You're leaving_. Seijuurou stiffened a little but tried to keep his tone light as he asked, "So, which university are you applying for?"

 

“Kyoto, most probably. My family's there after all.”

 

“Oh.” Seijuurou replied, a little subdued. Kyoto was rather far away from Iwatobi, for a high school student.

 

"What, miss me already?" Kurosawa teased, turning around to look at him.

 

Sei got flustered at Kurosawa staring at him from up close and turned his face away to the wall. "Shut up!"

 

"Are you _crying?_ " Kurosawa sounded concerned and tried to get a look at his face but Sei buried it into the pillow instead.

 

"Shut up, I said," Sei mumbled into the pillow.

 

"Look at me, come on," Kurosawa wheedled.

 

Sei shook his head stubbornly.

 

Kurosawa sighed, cracking his knuckles ominously. "Then you leave me no choice but to…"  

 

 _Oh shit,_ Sei thought, before...

 

“Yarrrgh!!!” Sei yelled in outrage and writhed as Kurosawa tickled the bejeezus out of him. "STOP! FUCK! BahahaHAHA! STOP it, damn you~~~!"

 

Kurosawa didn't let up until he'd managed to winkle Seijuurou face-up, cursing and swearing. He straddled Sei's hips and pinned his hands down on either side of his head. "Ha, so you were crying," he observed.

 

"That's from the tickling, you unreasonable, inconsiderate asshole," Sei hissed, twisting about, trying to catch his breath.

 

Kurosawa laughed and began raining kisses on Seijuurou, soothing his feelings. He paused and looked down at him, and Sei's breath caught at the affection in his gaze. "Hey, Sei," he asked. "What are the chances of you going to Kyodai after graduation? I'd wait for you there, you know."

 

Sei's heart jumped. "Really? You would?"

 

"You don't think that we're over once I graduate, do you? I'm not dead," Kurosawa kissed him and pressed their foreheads together. "I mean it. I'd wait for you to graduate and look for me there. I’d wait for you anywhere. So, how about it?"

 

\-------

 

At the Samezuka swimming pool, during the third year sending off ceremony...

 

The third years faced the first and second years as they listened to their Captain making his last speech.

 

"... We thank you for all your hard work and leave the club in your hands. Last but not least, Mikoshiba!" Sei stepped forward. Even though Kurosawa had not discussed this with him, he thought he knew what came next. "Starting tomorrow, you'll be the Captain after me." He grinned at Sei cheerfully. "I want to entrust this team to you. Take good care of my team."

 

"Yes, sir!" Sei said loudly and everyone had clapped and cheered.

 

Kurosawa held out his hand and Sei moved forward to take it. "And since you managed to beat me, make sure you don't lose to anyone else, yeah?" Kurosawa had teased.

 

 _Huh? Ever?_ Seijuurou blinked. _That defied logic, didn't it?_ He just smiled at his boyfriend and partner, saying, "There you go again, with your unreasonable requests. But you're lucky, I like 'unreasonable', and I love you, so I'll give your unreasonable request my all."

 

\--------

 

That night, they had returned to the natatorium when everyone was gone, using the extra key that Kurosawa had made. They had walked along the side of the pool, inhaling the chlorine scented air and listening to the small sloshing noises the water made as it spilled over the sides of the pool. They had completed one circuit around the pool together and Sei sat on starting block number four, the one he had always dived off from, while Kurosawa sat on his block, starting block number five, and both took a long look around the natatorium.

 

Sei looked up at the ceiling, eyes tracing over the random patterns of light cast up by the pool, then cast his eyes towards starting block number five, discovering that Kurosawa had been looking at him for some time.

 

"What are you looking at me for?" Sei grumbled. "You're the one who wanted to come back and make memories of this place."

 

"Yeah, this is how I want to remember it." Kurosawa smiled and patted his starting block. "You on block number four, and me on block number five, the pool in front of us, always."

  
"Yeah?" Sei smiled and beckoned Kurosawa to move forward, just as he did. "Remember this, too," he breathed and kissed him, kneeling between the starting blocks.


	2. I'd Wait For You Anywhere

At the Iwatobi train station...

 

They stood on the platform, close together in the cold, waiting for the 6am train to Osaka. "So, I guess this is 'see you later'," Kurosawa smiled.

 

"Yeah," Seijuurou replied soberly. He wanted to send Kurosawa off with a cheerful smile, he really did, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to pretend.

 

"Hey, don't look so down, Kyoto's only a six hour train ride away. We could visit each other over  the weekends that we're both free."

 

"Yeah."

 

( _But it's not the same as seeing you everyday_ , Sei's heart cried inside. But he couldn't say that either, so he looked around, trying desperately to change the subject.)

 

"Oh, your train's here," he said instead.

 

Kurosawa looked at the train in distaste, like it had come too early. He sighed and turned to Sei,  bringing one hand up to touch Sei's face. "Message me whenever you want. Tell me about the weekends that you're free. If I'm free then, I'll come back to visit. We'll work something out."

 

 _He's leaving! Don't let him leave worrying about you!_ Sei finally roused himself to give the most genuine smile he could muster. "Yes. I'll keep in touch and message you whenever. We'll work something out."

 

\-------

 

They sent messages back and forth daily, with the occasional handwritten note over the break. Sei got used to it, almost, even though they never managed to visit each other.   
Two weeks before Seijuurou's third year in Samezuka began...

  
  


9.00pm, Takeru: _(Hey Sei-kun. I'm going to bed early, have a marathon to run early tomorrow!)_

 

9.00pm, Seijuurou: _(Eh~, Take-chan, running a marathon? Hahaha! (O_o) How?! You hate running!)_

 

9.01pm, Takeru: _(Shut up! I just felt like it, okay? Good night already! I miss you. (^з^)-☆)_

 

9.02pm, Seijuurou: _(Yeah, yeah, good night. (^з^)-☆I miss you too)_

\------------

7.03am, Seijuurou: _(Good luck for the marathon! ＼(^o^)／)_

\-----------

1.30pm, Seijuurou: _(So, how was it?)_

\----------

5.25pm, Seijuurou: _(You must be real tired from all the running, huh? Miss you. Rest well!)_

\-----------

9.10am, Seijuurou: _(Yo~~~~, hello? Are you there?)_

\-----------

4.20pm, Seijuurou: _(Hi, did you receive the messages I sent earlier? I think you should be alright, but message me back, okay?)_

\----------

 

Seijuurou frowned at his cell phone. There had been no new messages from Kurosawa since that night, two nights ago. What had happened?

 

8.15am, Seijuurou: _(Hey, Takeru. It's been two days. Are you alright? Get back to me as soon as you're able, okay?)_

 

\------------

Samezuka Dorms, ten days before school begins…

 

Seijuurou was walking along the corridor, back to his room, when Onoda, the secretary for the swim team, ran up to him and grabbed his arm. "Buchou, did you hear the news about Kurosawa-senpai?"

 

Seijuurou blinked at him. _How did Onoda know something about Kurosawa that he didn't?_ "No? Why, what happened?"

 

Onoda suddenly fell silent, unable to speak. Seijuurou had to shake him a little in order to get him to speak up. What had happened to Kurosawa?!

 

Finally, Onoda found his voice. "I'm so sorry, Mikoshiba-san. He was participating in a marathon," Sei nodded, that he knew, "And ... Just before the finish line, he suddenly lost consciousness and collapsed... They rushed him to the hospital, but..., he..., died." Onoda whispered the last word.

 

Seijuurou stared at him in disbelief. This wasn't April Fool's day, was it? If he was pretending, he was good; Sei wouldn't have been able to tell that he was acting.

 

He had meant to calmly ask Onoda to explain himself, but what burst out of him instead was, "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE JOKE ABOUT THIS WITH ME!"

 

Onoda flinched, flinging both hands up between him and Sei. "It... It was in the papers! Look! Here's the article!"

 

He pulled a torn out page of newspaper from his pocket and Sei saw the headline. "Swimmer, 19, dies in Kyoto Marathon". There was a small, badly printed photo of a teen who might or might not be Kurosawa, Sei thought, until he read the words, "Kurosawa Takeru,19, was pronounced dead at the Kyoto General Hospital that day..."

 

Sei grabbed the newspaper article from him and fled.

 

\-----------

 

He read and reread the article as he stood at the Iwatobi train station platform, his cell phone pressed to his ear, dialing Kurosawa's number again and again and again...

 

_"He had participated in numerous swimming competitions, won many medals and led an active lifestyle, but he collapsed a kilometer from the finishing point of the Kyoto Marathon 42km event on Saturday._

 

_Kurosawa Takeru,19, was pronounced dead at the Kyoto General Hospital that day._

_He had collapsed just before 11am._

_Kyoto Shimbun News reports that he was going to enter Kyoto University next week._

_A Kyoto Marathon spokesman told the newspaper that after Kurosawa-san collapsed, medical personnel administered first aid before he was sent to the hospital._

_His death shocked his family._

_Kurosawa's sister said: "My brother would exercise often and has participated in and won numerous swimming championships."_

_She added that her brother had always been healthy, but had complained about having a cold a few days before the run._

_Police confirmed that they were notified of the death on Saturday at about 11.30am and have classified it as an unnatural death."_

 

There had to be a mistake somewhere, Sei thought, refusing to believe the article in front of him. His Kurosawa Takeru could not be dead. From running? From a cold? There could be another swimmer, of the same age, with the same name, looking somewhat like him and attending the University at the same time as Takeru, who had died in the same marathon, it did not have to be his Kurosawa Takeru, right?

 

He ground the heel of his palm against his forehead. _Please, Takeru, just pick up the goddamned phone already!_

 

Suddenly, the cell phone connected with the other side. Sei looked up with a gasp, a seed of hope growing in his heart. "Takeru?" He asked. _Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease..._  "Takeru, say something!"

  
The person on the other side hesitated for a while and finally spoke up. It was a girl's voice, and Sei’s heart started to fall. "I'm sorry, this is Takeru's sister. I'm also sorry to inform you that... Takeru passed away over the weekend and..."  The person choked on her next words before continuing, "we just cremated his body this morning."

 


	3. Where Are You Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seijuurou has to make a decision.

Sei was numb and cold and he _hurt_.

 

Sei had never experienced grief like this, that sliced his insides to _shreds_ and caused the act of breathing, of thinking, to hurt.

 

The hurt cut his breath to shallow gasps.

 

He had gone down on his knees at the train station, the heels of both hands digging into his brows as he struggled with the fact that …

 

_Kurosawa. Takeru. was. no. longer. here. anymore._

 

He had died three days ago.

 

Sei had not known.

 

_Why did that seemed like the greatest betrayal on his part?_

 

Being apart from Takeru had been painful, but even that was made bearable with the knowledge that he was _safe and well_ and there was always the promise they’d made together.

 

_We’ll work something out._

 

The touch on his face and that smile.

 

_I’d wait for you anywhere._

 

_(Where?)_

_(Where are you now?)_

_(COME BACK!)_

_(Please?)_

 

Should he board the train, go all the way to Kyoto?

 

Takeru wasn't in Kyoto anymore, there wasn't any point in going there.

 

Should he return to Samezuka?

 

Takeru wasn't there either.

 

_(Then where are you now?)_

 

_(Takeru? Please answer me!)_

 

There was no answer.

 

The silence screamed so loudly, his ears seemed to bleed.

 

A train arrived at the station and passengers boarded and alighted around him, ignoring him.

 

_(Maybe he was dead too?)_

 

"...-shiba!" Someone shook his shoulder. "Buchou! Are you alright?"

 

 _Buchou? Are you here?_ Seijuurou wheezed a little as he opened his eyes.

 

He saw Ogiwara kneeling in front of him, eyes wide with worry. “Hey, Mikoshiba-buchou? What’s wrong? Can you stand?”

 

(Ogiwara had been calling him, not Kurosawa. His insides sliced up some more and bled freely as Ogiwara pulled him to his feet.)

 

"Hey, buchou? You look horrible. Are you alright?"

 

"Stop calling me that," he said hoarsely. The title grated sickeningly on his hurting ears and he felt like throwing up.

 

"Huh?" Ogiwara blinked, not understanding.

 

_He didn't know. Ogiwara didn't know that Takeru was... (... gone.)_

 

Oh, how Seijuurou didn't wish to know either.

 

He took a step forward and fell, burying his face into Ogiwara's shoulder.

 

_Takeru wasn't anywhere anymore._

_I don't want to be here either._

 

He vaguely felt Ogiwara's arms go around him, felt more than heard Ogiwara's voice rise in alarm. "...-oshiba? ...-alright? ...-so cold!? OI!"

 

\---------------------

 

Someone was shaking his shoulder again, insistently. Seijuurou drifted awake. He didn’t have the strength to move anything. The shaking intensified. He finally cracked open an eye and looked. He was in his dorm room, in his bed. He was on his side, his face buried in his pillow.

 

 _Takeru?_ He knew it wasn't, but he couldn't stop himself from hoping.

 

Ogiwara was in front of him once more, looking at him in concern. “Hey, Mikoshiba. It's time for dinner, let's go and eat.”

 

Sei shook his head and closed his eyes. He felt a hand on his head, but it was the wrong size for Takeru; so he put his face deeper into the pillow and drifted away.

 

\---------------------

Seijuurou sprang up the stairs to the roof two at a time. If he was lucky, he would be there, he sometimes went there to read during break, he crossed his fingers as he opened the door and stepped into the bright autumn sunshine. He spotted a tall figure propped up against the wall in his usual spot. However, he was asleep now, an open book on the floor beside him.

 

Kurosawa was asleep! How rare! He wouldn't have to pretend he was here by coincidence then. He padded quietly over and knelt down, folding his long legs to bring him down to Kurosawa's level and studied the second year's face (feeling every bit like the textbook definition of a stalker).

 

Seijuurou didn't understand how his feelings for Kurosawa had developed to this point and had been pretty terrified when he realized he couldn't get his senior out of his waking thoughts. He thought of Kurosawa way too much to be considered normal but he didn't know how to stop!

 

It had started out with respect and admiration ever since the first day of training, where Kurosawa had been the one to stop his peers from hazing the first years who had turned up early to the natatorium in their enthusiasm. Seijuurou's initial sparkly-eyed respect for Kurosawa then grew into full-blown admiration when he saw how quickly his senior blazed through the water that day, realizing he was the fastest swimmer in the school. Then throughout the school year, he started noticing other little things about the tall blond senior. How he would smile when talking to his friends, the good-natured teasing with his classmates in the cafeteria, the steely-eyed focus during swimming, the quiet encouragement given to his peers and juniors during training. But Seijuurou's crisis truly started when he found himself admiring the line of Kurosawa's hip and back and the absolutely graceful way he pulled himself out of the water with the water streaming down his chest and legs which resulted in Seijuurou's sudden need to sprint for the locker rooms to take care of an embarrassing hard-on.

 

Seijuurou had not stopped screaming at himself mentally for weeks. It had not stopped the problems _or_ the dreams.

 

 _It's just you who has that effect on me_ , Seijuurou thought, looking at Kurosawa's peaceful face. There were other seniors more vocal, more cheerful, more friendly but  ...

 

"I like you, Kurosawa-senpai."

 

Hmm? Kurosawa opened his grey eyes, looked up at Sei.

 

Then Sei woke up too. And he remembered. 

 

He was alone in his room. His eyes were crusty and hurting and his mouth and throat were sand-paper dry, but these minor physical discomforts were nothing to the  _nothing_ that was currently in his chest right now. 

 

 _Takeru, Takeru, Takeru..._   _Come back! Where are you?_

 

There was no reply. He knew there wouldn't be, _but he could. not. stop. calling._

 

He thought of tomorrow, the next month, the next year and the rest of his life and he couldn't see _anything_. Why?!

 

Someone opened the door to his room. Sei looked out from behind the pillow and saw that it was Ogiwara, who huffed with relief to see Seijuurou awake. "Hey, you're up. Are you thirsty?" He held up a tumbler of water that Sei didn't feel thirsty for, despite his dry throat. Sei shook his head and put his face back into the pillow. He heard footsteps enter his room, felt Ogiwara sit down on his bed, felt Ogiwara's hand pat his shoulder awkwardly. 

 

"I heard." Ogiwara said softly. "I'm sorry."

 

\-------

 

The next visitor Seijuurou had in his room was from the school counsellor. She spoke softly to him and asked him questions about how he was and Sei answered her disinterestedly. Nothing she said or did could help him, he just wanted to be left alone!

 

"...Captain? Everyone in the swim team would understand." 

 

"Huh?" He blinked, frowning.  _What was that about the Captain?_

 

"Oh, Mikoshiba-kun...," The counsellor sighed and said patiently, _"_ I asked if you would want to step down from the position of Captain. I'm sure that everyone in your team would understand."

 

\--------

End Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't meant to be this long. Or painful.

**Author's Note:**

> Congratulations on reading this far. No, really.


End file.
